Poem – “In the Infinite Moment”

Poem.  Mostly free thought.  This is mainly for myself, but…  well, enjoy :)

“In the Infinite Moment”

Curtain the future.
Eclipse your plans with nonsense.

Roll in the mud of life.
Make sticky love.

Run naked through the cold April rain.
I promise we’ll all notice.

Be like the bee.
Bumble through lazy days.

Sing at the top of your lungs.
Sing until your throat burns.

Be a narcissist.
If only before your mirror.

Dance like the firefly.
Shine brief, shine bright.

For today,
in this infinite moment,
you are all that you are
and everything everyone else
never will be.

Russ Legear – May 2008

“Walls”

Tonight I’m going to do something I’ve never done before.  I’m going to write a poem on my blog.  This poem is mostly free-thought; I have a habit of revising until what I’ve originally penned and what actually emerges are totally different things.  I don’t want to do that tonight.  Tonight I’m just going to be me: dark, depressing, and (mostly) unedited.

“Walls”

It somehow seems base that I
would put pen to paper on a topic so abused
as walls.
You’d think they would all be smashed by now,
little more than gravel on sun-starved earth
from the incessant didactic discourse
of every lame-ass poet before me.
But here they are towering in my mind, in my life, in
my soul.
Covered in thorned vines; dark, grey, lifeless,
the walls I put up of morter and clay,
bitter blood and failed fantasies.
And the walls of those close to me,
equally high and intimidating.
After a while I just stare and stare,
my fingernails cracked open, flesh red and raw from
stretching, scrabbling, clawing toward understanding.

In the end,
all I can see are two people, panting,
listening to the endless echoes of their screams
as they try to break free.  Hoping, dreaming
of the day when a torrid howl from the one
they care about will leak through the barrier…
even if but a hint of a whisper.

-Russ Legear, May 2008

Sunday at Starved Rock State Park

Yes my friends, spring is here.  Which means you should get off your butts, stop reading this blog, and go outside.

That’s exactly what I and my friend Aran did yesterday.  The park is just outside of Utica, Illinois, and about a two hour drive from where I live.  Believe me, Starved Rock was worth the four hours on the road.  I was a bit wary when we first got there since the parking lot was packed.  It almost felt like an amusement park, there were so many families and kids.  Especially at the park entrance.  Luckily, the herd thinned quite a bit as we trekked further east.

All together, Aran and I hiked about six miles along the river.  This isn’t sissy hiking, either; there are a lot of places where a stupid person can put to proof Darwin’s theories.

It felt really good to be there yesterday.  Parts of the park had an air of Tolkien about them.  A lot of magic and life.

I’m definitely going again this year.

-Russ

Of course I took pictures :)

View from Starved Rock

Bluff

A very Shire-like scene

The Diving Tree

Pool at the base of La Salle Canyon…

…and the waterfall feeding it.

It’s not the destination that matters…

PS:  Many heart-felt thanks to the radiant Mythezza for suggesting I go.  Good luck with your finals!

Hiking at Chain ‘O Lakes State Park

There is just something about walking a trail that I can’t put my finger on.  It gives you time to be in your thoughts; but rather than dwell on them, something about the steady movement in a single direction helps to… jumpstart things.  For someone with an intensely analytical mind like mine (i.e., I tend to dwell on things far more than I should), this is a great boon.

Yesterday was the most beautiful day yet this year.  There wasn’t a cloud in the sky (though I would have welcomed some cumulus nimbus clouds, certainly).  The day was warm, but not humid, and there was a relaxing breeze.  I walked about six miles total (or so my GPS claims).

I can’t say that I was really digging Chain ‘O Lakes.  It’s very pretty, but it had this… dead energy.  Almost like a void, a sadness.  It could be because none of the plant life has regrown yet; it was a brutal winter.  But soemthing about the air smelt of longing, lonliness.

To Be Outside on a Warm April Day

I’d forgotten what it was like to go for a walk on a warm, sunny day.  That’s exactly what I did this Sunday past.  My new friend Aran and I drove up to her stomping grounds in Lake Geneva for a walk along the lake and through Big Foot Beach State Park.  It was the first day of the year that actually felt like Spring.

It was slightly overcast, but very warm considering how frigid it has been the past three months.  It felt so good to go without a coat.  The park was a bit muddy, but that only added to my enthusiasm.  There was a definate air of nostalgia from Aran and I.  The day tasted of ripe memories; it was as though there was this deep calmness that allowed forgotten images to resurface.  Thoughts of childhood, family, old highschool girlfriends.  It felt like I was pulling a dusty book off the shelf for the first time in countless years.  A book where I had forgotten the story and was all the more glad for it.

That day gave me a lot of perspective on my life I’ve been longing for for a long, long while.  Ideas for change.  Refocusing of attention.  I learned that I have no regrets regarding the course my life has taken, and great hopes for where it may go.

Most of all, I learned that I am happy with who I have become.

Somewhat crappy pictures to come when I get home from work.  I really need to get used to my D50 again; it’s been so long since I went photo hunting…

-Russ

Edit: As promised, here are some (highly stylized) pictures :)