Trust

In keeping with my series on core concepts of human existence, this following piece is about trust.

Most people go through life without the foggiest idea of what real trust is about.

There are so many aspects, so my facets to trust, it’s as though you’re trying to read a book through a prism.  All you see are colors, patterns in the glass.  So, trust is a very tricky thing.

Trust is, to put it simply, voluntary vulnerability.  It’s the tearing down of walls.  To trust means to put ourselves at risk, be it from physical harm or otherwise.  We all go through our lives wearing masks to keep the outside world from encroaching on what makes us, well, us.  We hide from ridicule, from the pain caused by those who do not understand us (and, in many cases, themselves).  Our emotions become numb, restricted.

To be able to place trust in others, we must first trust ourselves.  How do we do that?  Well, first you need to spend some time thinking about what makes you who you are.  This is not easy.  It is terminally convenient to get caught up in what other people want you to be.  Here are some things to try:

• Think about what motivates you.  What do you want to do for the world?  What do want from the world?
• Reflect on your friends, because they are a reflection of you.
• Spend time on what has, historically, given you joy.
• If you have difficulty trusting yourself, then trust in your own mistrust of yourself.  You have to start somewhere!
• Forgive those who may have slighted you.
• Meditate on your faults.  Pick one and give it your undivided focus.

This last point is key.  As you examine these faults, you will see that many of them are really nothing at all.  They may be invented by your mind as a way to hinder you, to hold you back from the gaze of those who would judge you adversely.  They may be something you were told repeatedly growing up.  What you must realize is that the more you tell yourself “I cannot”, the more it becomes reality.  Don’t run from your dreams!  Embrace them!  Spend time on the how of your life, rather than the why, and you will see that things fall into place.  You must trust yourself, you must trust your motivations.

Then you can begin to trust others.  By trusting yourself, hurtful words will fall away as though you’re wearing teflon armor.  You will shed yourself of people who do not accept you as you are.

You will be vulnerable in the best sort of way:  you will be open to the love and kindness of those who place their trust in you.  Because that’s what real trust is.

Having faith.

-Russ